I recently began dating for the first time in 13 years, and it’s curious because I know I’m not in the market for a serious relationship — not while I’m still grieving the end of my marriage.
So when I go on a date, it’s mostly for distraction, an hour or two to fill up the time. I go on a lot of dates. Most of them are low-key, no-sparks affairs with very nice guys. (Portland is full of very nice guys.) Some dates are even better than that.
Recently, however, I went on a horrible date with a guy who came off as a douchebag from almost the first second we met. He chastised me for not riding a bike, and after a few minutes of conversation, he suggested I needed therapy. (I have a very good therapist, but I think that’s beside the point.)
We met online, which I guess is how people meet dates these days. Admittedly, I hadn’t done a thorough job of filling out my profile. My thinking was: “I’m cute, and I’m single. What more do people need to know?”
A lot, it turns out.
If my date had known I had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t really on the hunt for Prince Charming, he might have skipped out on the date altogether. That would have saved us both the hassle.
Marketing thyself
Oftentimes I think we take the same failed approaches to marketing that I took to my date. We believe if we just put ourselves out there, the right kind of customers will find us. Because we are good at what we do, we believe we can build relationships with anyone who walks in the door.
Like all legitimate forms of marketing, dating requires you to be real about who you are, your intentions and your ideal “customers.” The more specific you are about what you want out of a date, the better your experience will be.
After that date, I created a checklist to help make my dating life a little more successful. Surprisingly, these tips translate really well to marketing.
- Be honest about who you are, how you operate and what you want. Never lie about anything. Gentlemen, this includes your height and weight. Your date will know soon enough if you are lying.
- Be yourself. This is similar to being honest, but it goes deeper. If you don’t know how to be yourself, get a therapist. (Never tell your date to get a therapist.)
- Don’t make any promises you can’t keep.
- Be thorough. That’s not the same as being wordy. Just make sure you tell your potential date everything they need to know in order to decide whether they want to date you.
- Only ask your potential to commit to one date. Make it free or very low cost.
- Avoid hyperbole, but be willing to brag a little. Put your best qualities forward.
- Specify what kind of date you are looking for. Keep your ideal date in your mind’s eye as you are writing copy.
Indeed, our dating and marketing efforts can yield surprising, scary and sometimes bizarre results. But for every bad date or bad customer, there is the potential for something much greater — even a relationship that lasts a lifetime.
Lovely, Mike. So true!
And as a pending divorcee, I sympathize.